Betty Farnill. (Deceased)

Long ago when I was in my 50’s still with a very good figure, a little incident took place which we still have a laugh about, here is what happened.
I used to walk every day, some times up to ten miles, on this occasion being summer I was on my way to Balnarring Yacht Club where my husband was racing.
My route was down Point Leo Road to the beach then along the beach to Balnarring. Being a rather hot day I was wearing a brief blue denim mini skirt and top, and a wide brimmed hat, from which protruded my long pony tail.
Approaching the beach I heard a car slowing down, then from behind some voices saying, “Come in love we’ll give you a good time,” and many more suggestions, which being a lady I won’t repeat.
I then turned to see who it was, and a horrified voice shouted, “God it’s an old bird.” The foot went down and the car screamed away, showering me with dust and stones. 
They didn’t even give me a chance to take up their offers. Ah well, we still have a chuckle when we recall the incident. 

By Albert G. Edwards (Deceased)

         Many million years ago
         The good Lord did me make
         No Dreamtime rot can I conceive
         For I am planet earth, a garden, see?
         I was here before the dinosaurs
         A little wild maybe
         But everything I needed
         the good Lord gave to me.
         Now the Lord was kind of busy
         So he made man to care for me
         And from my dust this man arose
         And began to improve on me.
         Adam started digging and a'sowing
         Then a'reaping and a'mowing
         Go forth and multiply the good lord said.
         If only he had told him when to stop
         there could have been hope for me.
         Relentless man took more and more
         until I could no longer cope.
         His greed for land soon started wars
         And this was good for me
         Blood and bone was a tonic for the likes of me.
         It did not last as man improved
         And with bombs and mortars
         poisoned much of me
         Now man today is at his zenith
         and with Satan's aid my destruction relish
         and will kill atomically
         So all you budding gardeners
         go down upon your knees
         And pray for you and me.
Beyond Disability
Excerpts taken from the three BDI books

Cranbourne Races
Stan Goldsworthy (Deceased)

Its a hot day in the city of Casey
Where young and old are feeling racy
And some of the punters are acting crazy.

A rank outsider wins and his owner brags
While one expectant owner’s spirit sags       
As his horse, hot favourite of the race, lags.

Horses and riders all battle the fray
But some of the punters are broke to-day
And other poor souls have almost gone grey.

Some optimistic jockeys have missed out
While winners suppress a joyous shout
As they parade their victorious mount.

Yet many have had a jolly good day
As they count their winnings and feel quite gay
Then to the pokies to have a good play.

Others will silently down a few beers
And wish all around a jolly good cheers
Lucky, after being well in arrears.

One mum and dad this day will always rue
As they bet on a sure thing someone knew
And hard-earned savings impulsively blew.

So all of us who love to have a bet
Let’s not do something we will all regret
And after a day out end up in debt.